Hawaii
• Oahu June 27th through June 30th
• Big Island – July 1st through 5th

Santa Barbara – August 7-9

I don’t.

My basic point is – do you keep going back to a spot if you know that the night will be very poorly attended (maybe even empty) and ran with no MC or crowd control?…..where you feel like shit driving away?

A fellow up and comer and I drove for two hours to a gig for the second month in a row and for the second time in a row there wasn’t more than 8 people in the audience. It’s obvious there’s no promotion for the gig. In addition, the promoter didn’t even have an MC. Yeah, you heard me; he just goes up and introduces the night and the first act, which was me on this occasion. Doesn’t even have a practice round of applause or anything.

I’m getting a bit better at opening so I warmed people up a bit but I’m pissed cause I want to do my new(ish) stuff. With six people, cold, its almost like you’re just in a room talking to a fucking wall.

To add fuel to the fire a group of middle aged assholes came in and preceded to ruin my set and the next two with not even drunken heckling, just inane yelling and talking loudly and saying that my jokes made no sense, etc, etc. Even when other acts tried to talk with them ‘Where do you work? Where you from? Etc?’

The promoter did little to nothing to get them to be quiet or ask them to leave. Then the host starts to talk to them at the start of the second half, engaging them again!

After ruining the ’show’ for about 40mins and after numerous pleas for them to shut it, one of them flipped during my pal’s set and began to get threatening and screaming to the point I was worried about his safety (and pissed off at him and the promoter). Luckily he was close to the door, so I went over and got him out myself. (there were no bouncers and the promoter was doing nothing).

The promoter came up to me and said that I shouldn’t have done it, it was his call, but what was I supposed to do? Sit there and watch my bud get hit? Or at best, sit there and watch my bud’s set be drowned out by this guys yells and then just drive home?

If it was a movie theatre, a music event, he’d have been beaten to fuck! I didn’t hurt him, I wasn’t rough, no way I‘d do that, I just wanted him out. I just led him out and told him that he’d ruined 3 sets and he should be on his way. I did it because no one else was.

But still, the host turned round and went ‘But I’d love to have you back next month….you both did well.’

Should I bother? I know I should be looking for stage time but if I’m driving for two hours for no money and just 10 mins of stage time, I don’t expect much but I do expect at least some MC -ing and policing and promotion of the night. In short, a little fucking respect for comedy. If I’m up there I want to feel like it’s worth me being there and that if I want to do new stuff I can really work on it.

We’ve given the gig two chances now and both times I feel I’ve come away with little; like I’d been performing to a void. And the way I’m feeling I’d spend the 6 hours I take to do the spot and back better either writing or practicing at home…….but again it’s stage time. In general, things are going good but getting regular time is a struggle, especially since next week I’m starting a new job. This gig is do-able for my timetable and I just hate the thought of stage time going amiss. Then again, is any time is worth being yelled at while under threat of violence?

Any similar experiences? Thoughts?

Matt is right, Black does a bit about doing his act over the phone to get it approved for this event. I am willing to accept that someone dropped the ball and approved this bit, or even accept the possibility that Sykes pulled an audible at went rogue at the mic, but Obama seems too intelligent to have heard that bit and given it the green light. Not to mention, I really hope one of the President’s daily duties doesn’t include approving comedy bits.

Now you better get your teddy and blanky, because Fox News is getting ready to tell you a scary bed time story about the big bad black man who actually won an election and now gets to pick a Supreme Court Justice!

—D