It’s The New Family Friendly BTB!
February 21, 2008 · Print This Article
Brian is back and being a father has really changed him. No more filthy jokes and references to vaginas, just good old fashioned family friendly material that the whole family can enjoy. Even your whore of a mother.
The listeners kept the show alive with a record breaking amount of discussion on the message boards, so today is all about you. Topics on the day include baby penises, picking up chicks with humor, comedy vs. performance art, inappropriate times to joke, and, this just in, comics are egotistical. I hate all comics, can you recommend one?
Email: brianmcomedy@gmail.com and give us a call on 206-203-4692
great set fry
I’m half way through Gasping right now and just want to mention my early review. Jay is a kind of a whiner. It’s hard to feel bad for a guy who is on SNL because of two good sets in front of the right people then has this huge ego for why his sketches weren’t making it on the show. I’ll get more into it after I finish the book but for now I just feel like I’m reading Jay bitching about a pretty cushy life.
But maybe I’m looking at it from a different perspective.
Sina.
Nothing says family friendly like a lop and chop.
Seriously though, why do so many Americans opt for the circumcision thing? Where I’m at it is the exception rather than the norm.
I was the one that actually pushed for it. My wife didn’t want it, but the deal was that if we did everything else her way, We could get him snipped. As for why, 2 reasons. 1. Smegma. 2. If he’s anything like me, my kid’s gonna have enough strikes against him in the penis department. May as well make it look good.
Smegma? I thought smegma was meant to help keep the penis clean. I’ve got to wiki this shit.
Also, I’m hoping i’m not coming across as some ‘I’m going to tell you how to raise your kids’ freak, I’m just curious as fuck about the little ticks and twists that exist in the different cultures of the anglosphere. Wow, anglosphere. I’m a cunt.
Yeah, the old snip isn’t big in the UK either. Little Nicky is thanking my parents to this day……I love when Lisa Lampanelli goes on about how ugly uncircumcised penises are…..bitch!
I watched the Penn and Teller Bullshit episode on circs and it was almost enough to scare me off. I know it’s becoming less and less of an expected thing, but I decided to go with it. Certainly no offense taken Nic. Wear your hood with pride!
Congrats BMO! I somehow missed the announcement you posted (probably because I usually post at work and don’t really have the time to read through all the posts thoroughly, and I’m a lazy fuck).
now as far as the circ goes i am for it my parents did it to me, im sure baby me didnt appreciate them coming at my dick with sharp objects but now i cant imagine my soldier not having a helmet.
Hey Brian.
Really fab to hear your sliken tones via the magic of Podcast again, bro.
Loved the comments about how unsupportive 2 competitive comedians can be towards each other. There’s a great comedians story in the UK that does the rounds which so typifies this
(but maybe it originated in the US - so stop me if you’ve heard it before..)
2 comics who started out gigging the same time together bump into each other for the first time in over a year:
1st Comedian: Hey dude ! How’s it going?
2nd Comedian: Oh - you know - same kinda thing. And you?
1st Comedian; oh MAN! What A year I’ve had! I did my first ever show at the Edinburgh Festival, and not only did I get a 5 star review in The Scotsman newspaper, but I also won the Best Newcomer Award too!
2nd Comedian: Oh…. I never heard about that..
1st Comedian:Yeah! And talents scouts in the audience from Montreal invited me to do a showcase at The Just For Laughs festival!
2nd Comedian: OH. I never heard about that…
1st Comedian: Yeah! And if that wasn’t amazing enough, agents in the audience at Just For Laughs saw me and loved me, and now HBO have asked me to write and star in my own sitcom!
2nd Comedian: Oh..I didn’t hear about that either…so…do you want to maybe go for a drink together right now?
1st Comic: I’d love to ,dude, but I can’t - I had the Comedy Store ask me 2 hours ago if i can headline the late show tonight! I just hope it goes better than last time - I played to a packed club, but a few drunken idiots at the front shouted some shit out and threw me off a little…
2nd Comic: OH! I heard all about THAT….
(Stand-up comics, eh? - can’t live with ‘em..can’t live without ‘em…)
btw - I love the blog-style format of this board over a message board - but I do regret the lack of a feature allowing you to correct spelling mistakes in previous posts - I meant to say “your silken tones”, and not “sliken”, which for all I know is Scandanavian for sexual deviant….
Ricardo: If you use mozilla firefox you can activate spell checkers which will do the Microsoft Word red zig zags thing. It’s really sweet, you can install any sun or Open Office dictionaries, (so I rock the NZ English one) and it’s super easy to use.
If you’re not using firefox, then you’re fucked.
man. im coming up with material for the school variety show auditions. im thinking the getting laid with dinosaur bedsheets material isn’t going to fly. smiley, have you ever done stuff for a school sanctioned event? and how hard was it to prepare material?
yes i have mike, and i can honestly say that in my experiance school events will make you want to kill yourself. you see schools like to think that anyone younger than 18 are pure in the head and if they hear anything to contradict that theory they will try to change it. However a set is a set so definitly go for it, and for the audition just do what you want, but when you get to the show itself expet a rep from the faculty to have some “notes” for you. well thats all i got. break a leg
This is perfect:
http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/comedy_tonight
I was just watching the Oscars. First off, Jon Stuart is a genius. Second, and I’ll probably make this the the poll for next week, do you think Dane Cook will ever win an Oscar? It seems ridiculous to think of, but he seems to be on that track.
First off lets get the congrats out of the way. Not for the kid but for winning the “most awkward circumcision ever” award. A tough win over Shlomo the circumcising clown and his “balloon” animals.
But what I’d like to talk about is Last Comic Standing, which just came through Houston last week. Now I generally have been avoiding these auditions for lots of reasons that I wont go into because I’d just be contradicting myself with the following statement.
If you can get away with it. GO TO THESE AUDITIONS. I mean dont quit your job or anything, but if you can make it do it. Not for the contest. That thing is a complete clusterfuck of preordained retardation. Go for the wait in line. Go for the comedians.
I showed up at about 2:30 am the day of. Upon walking down the line I see a very talented comedian and friend of mine, Tommy Drake. For those of you who dont know him. He has absolutely NO business waiting in this line. In fact three people (a comedian, the club manager, and someone in the show) came up to him informing him of this and trying to give him an automatic walk on. All of which he turning down. Saying “this is where I want to be.”
If you know tommy then you already know this but he is maybe one of the most pro-comic comedians I know. Very funny guy with tons of experience and loves to help out the scene.
As I said before, the contest was crap. Sitting in line and talking comedy with Tommy and the other comics from all around Texas was amazing. Maybe one of the most interesting experiences of my comedy life. Got some new material and perspective on things and shitloads of laughs. I’ve actually lost my voice because of it.
So despite all my nay saying and the handfuls of theater majors there to get on tv for looking like retards, I say go to these things. Wait in line. Get balls deeps in the comedy scene of your area. Dont go there to get on the show. Thats stupid. Go there for the experience.
The Oscars were on…? Yawn.
since we’ll be doing the whole born standing up thing this week i’m going to add a few things i got from the book.
1) i loved how steve martin decided to do his own brand of comedy despite early struglles. and he even so far to say that he would do an act with no punchlines and at times was more vuadeville than anything else at the time.
2) a few of his early influnces were philosophers which all of the philsophies ive been forced to read and ive never seen the connection.
3) and lastly i understand why he quit and never looked back. he said the audiances got so huge that hecklers were becoming regular occurances and it was even getting dangerous. my favorite story is when steve was driving and some jackass with a car full of people gunned his car started swerving and put his upper body through the window and screamed “im A Wild And Crazy Guy”. He was probably from jersey.
A new comedy Web site has popped up. This one is more professional than most; it was created by the former head of the UPN network.
http://www.comedy.com/
also brian, as far as dane cook getting an oscar, in what alternative universe is that going to happen. i mean as far as i know the only comedian to ever get an oscar was robin williams and he went to julliard so he obviously has chops. also i know that there are american comedy awards, why dont they televise those?
Agree with Patrick about Dane Cook’s future Oscars hopes being rather slim (unless they introduce an award for Best Use Of Hair Product In A Leading Role).
Have you seen him in Good Luck Chuck? Ugh. Cook has as about as much charisma and likeability on-screen as Jar Jar Blinks.
Binks…..christ im a huge nerd. is it any wonder i havent gotten laid in over 6 months
They used to televise the American Comedy Award, but I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who watched them. They probably haven’t been on in over a decade.
man that bums me out, now theres something id actually watch
I don’t know man, I have a bad feeling about Dane. I’m not saying he wins next year, and I’m definitely not saying he deserves one, I just have a weird feeling he’s being groomed as a Hollywood golden boy.
ok, fine, he is being groomed no doubt about that but i think there just looking for box office gold, not oscar gold. as far as i know danes last two three flicks did reasonably well and were absolute cinema trash, comedy or otherwise. but i think ive figured out the formula there using: First youve got dane cook, arguably the bigest comedian in the world. second as far as comics go he’s a pretty good looking guy. next they put him next to buetiful actresses(Jessica simpson, Jessica alba) and they both make each other look even better. next they give them some weird or ugly best freinds to make them look so good its almost nuaseating. it wont matter if the story sucks and isnt funny in the least, becuase the audiance is distracted to notice. so yes brian, he is being groomed for the acedemy awards. hell, as far as i can tell the academy awards hate comedy. theyll get a comic to host and get them to write it but give comedy its own category, NOOOOO. comedys been around just as long as drama, probably longer, but they dont give a shit. ahh hell with em, they can go suck on there giant golden dicks for all i care.
Man, i have been really fuckin angry lately. i gotta take up meditation or some shit. but first…sandwich.
Red Buttons also won an Oscar.
I believe the main obstacle stopping Dane Cook ever winning an Oscar is the guy’s arrogance and narcissism- so far I’ve only seen him play a version of himself in his movies - a wise-cracking good-looking smirking smart-ass. And I can’t ever see him going all Daniel Day-Lewis and spending 12 months getting into character as a paraplegic guy with cerebal palsy, or any role other than himself that might win him an award. I’d say Pauly Shore has as much chance of winning a Lifetime Achievement Oscar for classic movies like California Man and Bio-Dome..
Ricardo: The title in England was “California Man?” Here it was “Encino Man,” so the rest of Cali didn’t have to share the shame.
Ryan: You’re right about TD. I met him for the second time at the Chicago LCS auditions, when he did have an appointment, and he said then that he wasn’t too cool with that. When he didn’t make it past the callback I knew something was wrong with LCS.
Oscar for Dane: I have the sneaking suspicion that you, Brian, are baiting us for material for next week’s show. I know you’re tired and up to your ankles in baby poop, but this is low
In any case, I hope to God he never wins one because his acceptance speech would probably be a three-hour set about the stage design.
“Ricardo: The title in England was “California Man?” Here it was “Encino Man,” so the rest of Cali didn’t have to share the shame. ”
Really? Wow! I never knew that - but I vividly remember the poster for that movie being in every video rental place window across London in the early 90’s - with the bad artwork showing the Darwin evolutionary chart depicting a caveman evolving into a skateboarder, and with the unforgettable tag line:
” California Man - Where the Stone Age Meets The ROCK age!!!”
They don’t make ‘em quite like that any more, do they?
Actually they probably do…possibly starring Lindsey Lohan too….
Hi folks,
Speaking of Oscars for comedians, I see that the animated film, “Ratatouille”, which stars the voice of Patton Oswalt, won the Academy Award for best animated movie.
Cheers.
- Don in Nova Scotia
well that just proves that anything with patton is a good thing.
I know I’m chiming in super-late on this, but–
Good for you, circumcising wee Nate, Brian. It will protect him from STDs in his later years, better preparing him to follow his daddy into show-biz.
On Last Comic Standing auditions, I totally agree with Ryan. I went to Houston specifically to do the audition (didn’t make the showcase) but realized that the best reason to be there was to meet folks and chat. I had an appointment so I didn’t hang out in line, but I definitely plan to do so next time. I will be auditioning again in SF tomorrow, so give me a heads up if any BtB folks plan to be there too, and I’ll keep my eyes out for you. You can’t miss me. I’ll be the girl in men’s undies, dressed like a rabbit.