In the interest of full disclosure, here are the Jacko jokes I wrote but did not tell:

A white woman with a history of health issues died today, and so did Farrah Fawcett. [crappy]

Two skinny white women died tragically, and all people can do is make jokes. [mildly crappy]

I wanted to hear what the surviving Jacksons had to say, but Kate had no comment. [clever, but unless an audience connects Kate Jackson - Farrah Fawcett in two seconds, it would tank anyway]

That’s the problem with topical humor – you have half a day to make even decent jokes pay off.

As for resumes, Brian, I think you left out References. Get permission from club owners or comics that know you to list them and their contact info.

After more than a decade teaching college English, Dan Tessitore took his mean-spirited wit and low expectations for humanity to the comedy stage in early 2005 and never looked back. When not performing for headliners you’ve never heard of, he writes a comedy column for Behind the Bricks (at least in theory).

Thanks for the tips Brian and yeah, good call on the references. I’m getting to the point where I’m getting a few good ones (I hope). Thing is though I’m such a pussy it takes me a while to ask people for references but I know I need to do it. One of the guys who started on the same gig as me is light years ahead for partly the reason he has networked well…..and the fact that he’s very very good.

My experience with Bios is that bookers want you to have one, but don’t really give a shit what they say.

When I first started in comedy, before I had a real Bio, I made up a mock-bio filled with ridiculous salesperson terminology and posted it on Comedy Soapbox as a joke ( http://comedysoapbox.com/comedianstemplate.cfm?comedianID=4946 ). I can’t tell you how many gigs I’ve done since then where that whole text is printed out as my actual Bio for the night’s patrons to read. They even had it reprinted once in the local newspaper to advertise the show.

Even though I have a real “serious” bio that I’ve sent to all these bookers, it seems like a lot of times it’s just easier for them to go on the internet and print out the first thing they find, without even reading what it is first. It’s just another one of those hypocritical things where everybody has to pretend it’s important, but nobody really cares, not even the audience.

Wow – yet another story involving Dane Cook and theft, but this time he’s the victim!

Dane Cook stole an hour of my life with his last special…I should get some of that 11 Million. Sucks that your own blood would steal from you. Even though his new stuff is not great I did love his old stuff and he showed comics how to use internet to market. I can’t really do that because I get distracted by all that porn and then I have to take a nap.

I read this on Punchline magazine.

ABC is in the process of developing a new reality competition show, The Fast & The Funniest, where comedians will have to be “funny on the fly.”

The show will feature a group of stand-ups as they race across the country competing in challenges and performances. The first three comics to reach the final destination will perform for a cash prize.

The Fast & The Funniest is produced by Page Hurwitz and Javier Winnik, both of whom were producers on the now-cancelled Last Comic Standing. The show is tentatively scheduled to air in the upcoming mid-season or Summer 2010. The cast of comedians has not yet been determined.

Why can’t a reality stand up comedy show just have comedy in a club or theatre instead of in the Grand Canyon which, in my opinion is way to big of a venue.

Personally Dennis I think that “Run to the Hills” by Iron Maiden or maybe “Evenflow” by Pearl Jam would be hilarious on a ukulele but maybe you want something more popular. I used to joke I wanted to learn the accordion so I could play “Comfortably Numb” on it.

I usually wait to pass judgement on things but that Fast & Funny thing sounds like just about the worst idea for a TV show that I’ve heard recently and the fact that it’s by folks who brought is LCS just makes it that much worse.

Does anyone else agree with me that Lucy Porter is quite possibly the hottest stand up comedians out there. She’s deffo on my free pass list.

Brian C: If Lucy Porter is funny, then yes, I agree. Otherwise, it’s April Macie:

http://media.photobucket.com/image/april%20macie/jcrichards/macie.jpg

Problem for me is, I don’t find April Macie all that funny.

Lucy Porter is pretty Hot….but for me Chelsea Handler is the funniest comedian.

Dennis – apologies for getting to your ukulele post late.

I play one myself and adore the instrument.
Uke has gotten very hip in the UK, so for cool songs for your kid to play, you must check out the brilliant Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. Here’s a great clip of them playing Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KZjnFZvCNc

There’s also a wonderful site with the wonderful name of Uke Hunt (maybe best not to explain that pun to your kid) that specialize in transcribing classic songs of all genres for ukulele with very helpful chord charts and video clips. Check ‘em out here:

http://ukulelehunt.com/

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