So for my comeback show, I decided to do an open-mic in my dorm in front of most of my friends, which is always a good idea. Unfortunately, everyone else in front of me on the sign-up had bailed, so I was called first.

In order to have a dramatic opening, I decided to use, for the first time ever, my bottle-opening belt buckle. I figured I’d open it and then say something like “Ah-ha, you should see what I can do WITHOUT my pants!” Unfortunately, my longneck was shaken like crazy and then exploded all over everything. Fun.

It was a pretty decent show. Long story short, my premade jokes went over decently, but my improvised lines seemed to do better. I did maybe 5 or 7 minutes.

I was convinced my next show was going to be a mess. It would be in front of strangers, wouldn’t have such a large audience, and would have to be significantly cleaned up. Furthermore, when I arrived, the people in front of me were playing piano concertos. THAT’S a great warm-up for stand-up.

I had some jokes in my line-up and—despite all of your protests to do otherwise—mostly winged it. I literally asked the audience “alright, who wants to get made fun of?” I got someone to agree and I did some crowd work. I made some jokes about the venue and other off-the-cuff sort of things.

My second show was better than the first—the opposite of what I expected. The crowd was constantly laughing and I felt more comfortable on stage. Sweet!

I’m sure that you’ve said something about it, but I didn’t know how much going first sucks. You really have to warm up the crowd and act as a sort of comedic fluffer. But later, when I went second, people were warmed up. Warmed up with piano solos, but still.

This is way too long, but figured y’all would want a more detailed account that more “got scared, did well” or whatever stories.

Oh, and thanks Brian for including me on the show. Totally shocked me, yanked me back to my iPod.

I’ve never really gone up sick, although I have gone up high. Not the pot kind of high the med kind of high. I had just busted up my arm pretty bad but the worst was behng me the night i was performing. however it was really aching so i took one to many painkillers and when I finally took the stage it looked like a trip out of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I bombed that night for obvious reasons, bt the main reason being that I fucked up the joke order and my sentances did’nt make any sense. I’m definitly not doing that again.

on carrot top: love him or hate him you gotta respect him. although prop comedy is almost extinct carrot top is probably one of the richest comics working today. im pretty sure he has joint custody of las vegas right along with chris angel.

an a completely unrelated note: I think i just shot the last of my political load for awhile with an essay I just wrote on my site(blog, ego builder, delusion dream machine, ect.) and I’m pretty proud of it. It’ called MAVERICK! and I encourage anybody to look it over and critique it. oddly enough I’ve never been after praise and would much rather constructive criticism.

whoo, time for a sandwich and a nap.

He reminds me of an unhinged Irish lady who used to perform on the London open-mike circuit a few years back . She’d pick on a random female in the audience, “borrow” her handbag, then remove it’s contents on stage and loudly analyse each item to get a personal profile of the poor audience member. I don’t remember this act having much in the way of jokes, but it made for undeniably compulsive viewing.

Also, a question for B-Mo. Do you have idea whats happening with the Stand Up Orlando podcast? Hearing their show was always a monthly Ipod treat for me, but there’s not been a new podcast since September. Are they no more? I hope not.

Lucky for me that my 10 solid minutes doesn’t yield much heckling and I’m just able to ignore it… cause, hell, I’m up there to hear me anyhow, not them.

Jay, congrats on the article. Citizen Journalism Forever!

Sickest? 102 fever after Nyquil. Again, was only up for a few minutes, but I cracked a few jokes about it (never getting sick at opportune times). I’d never be able to call in sick for a show – it must go on. And not to bring up poop, but I had the total crappypants from a medication change and had to do an opener slot. I was miserable and was convinced that every oopsie would be a poopsie, as they say. Let’s just say I ended my set at the flashy light instead of getting my whole 10 in… but ending it early was best for everyone.

Token Scot – I fucking hate Carrot Top as a comic – but he is damn sexy. The hate only comes from my utter lack of success in my own life. I mean, you can’t fault a guy for doing something great enough to be a “success”. Kinda like Dane Cook. I liked CT when I was younger. And I liked Dane Cook until I entered my late 20s.

*sigh* I missed you guys.

And I shall end there. I am a lady.

Give me his stuff over another DeNiro impression or another Miss Piggy having sex with Kermit bit or “Could you imagine if there was a [insert race here] President!?” bit any day of the week. There’s no dignity in being a pure monologist if your monologue is filled with shit we’ve heard a million times before.

(Has anybody ever seen or heard of a prop act called “The Legendary Wid?” I’ve worked with him a few times in Philly and I’d put his act up against _anybody’s_. He brings a sack of garbage — really, found items, but essentially garbage — and then proceeds to riff on what he finds in his piles. About half of it is rehearsed, the rest is improved on the spot. I think he’s a genius of the Rain Man variety…)