Give Someone The Gift Of Laughter
December 20, 2007 · Print This Article
How’s that for a cheesy holiday title? It the final show of 2007 and Brian is celebrating with his 2nd annual comedy holiday gift recommendation show. Whether you’re a reader, hearer, or watcher, Brian has a great gift idea that you will more than likely ignore.
Listener topics of the day include the “honorary doctorate” of comedy, making an ass of yourself in front of celebrities, stage names revisited, why comics feel the need to lie more off stage than on, and an amateur activity that makes open micers look like pussies. What the fuck was that about?
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-Heard Ron Shock tell his hell gig story that he told on this show last summer, and thought it sounded much funnier to a room of people compared with just some dude on the phone.
-I didn’t say i wasn’t impressed with Todd Barry, brian, I said i was disappointed by his two cds, but thought he did a great set when i saw him live.
-Will you still be alive to make it the #1 joke of all time, Brian, because every week you seem even more and more upset that you’re doing this bit, so before you kill yourself over this, please check with us first.
-God, when did this post become so anti-Mollica? Maybe I’m still bitter about the Louis C.K. blowjob joke.
I heard that ron shock on xm radio, which has to be the ultimate gift for the hardcore comedy fan. it might be the only way to hear uncensored comedy 24 hours a day other than the interent.
shit!
I called in some hella funny jokes on Tuesday, and it looks like I was too late for the contest. I thought that the 18th would be a reasonable date to get them in.
We’re actually on a backlog FD. God knows I wasn’t gonna skip another gem by Stacks. Your turn in the rotation should come up fairly soon.
I don’t fault you for your bitter post Ben. I’ve read that men suppressing homosexual urges will lash out. I actually love the 100 joke bit. It’s steadily becoming my favorite part of the show. I can’t promise I’ll be alive at the end, but the death won’t be self inflicted. More than likely it will be bacon related.
Sorry I’m a week behind on this, but when I heard Brian offer up “Hitler” as a name you might want to substitute a stage name for, I about fell over. There actually was a Partridge Family episode on exactly that! I had long ago forgotten about it and still don’t remember much about it, but “Larry Hitler”’s opening line was “Good evening ladies and gentlemen…I’d like to start by clearing something up. My complexion.” The way I remember it, Larry Hitler wasn’t getting booked because his name was too offensive, so Danny and Reuben stepped in to save the day and suggested a stage name.
Oh, I didn’t mind that it wasn’t being played on the “air”, I just wanted to get it in the joke contest in time. such is life. Stacks is pretty priceless, I respect your decision. Also, top 100 joke this week was the first one to make me laugh out loud. It’s only gonna get better from here!
Brian, great gift ideas. I’m going to search out that book on 70s stand up.
I think Carlin has relleased practically all of his albums and/or specials in one huge box set which would make a really great gift (although probably expensive). Some of those in the late 70’s when he was really, really high on coke (as opposed to just really high) aren’t up to snuff.
I just picked up the Naked Trucker and T-Bones DVD. I know the TV show they did earlier this year didn’t work out, but their stage show is really funny imho. I guess I’m in the I like musical comedy camp.
I also can’t say enougth good things about Hard ‘N Phirm btw.
damn, i just did a killer show a few weeks ago but my recorder broke 2/3rds into the set i was planning to use that for the contest for january. B-mo out of curiosity if i cant get to another mic night(since im back in my dipshit hometown which wouldent know funny if it bit them in the crotch) could i just do my set over the phone?
Because you’ve been such a great contributer since the beginning of the show, I’ll make an exception for you Smiley.
sweet
Speaking of gifts, in my new humor book “The Louie/God Interviews (What The Big Fella Really Thinks About Man And The Universe”) God says, “I was sick of being the welfare God, the
Santa Claus wish list God. The Neanderthals were the inspiration
behind it, asking for the stoning of the best loin of saber tooth tiger.
Of course I didn’t say my quote to them. They couldn’t write and were
terrible with oral histories so I filed it away for modern man but it
gave me a kick in the pants to speed the Neanderthal demise.”
I survived the 7 hour drive with the dog and pregnant wife, but after 30 mins of my family making the, “So which one of you is pregnant” joke, I’ ready to leave. Thank God I’ll be drinking myself into an early grave at my home club tonight. I hope I still get the employee discount…
Hey you guys…I have a question for you. Those of you who have done shows, do you ever get weird compliments after shows? I’ve gotten some really weird/loaded compliments that were meant well but maybe I’m the insecure asshole that took them the wrong way.
I was once told after a show from a guy that he’s always wanted to get into stand up but if he did he would just do a bunch of jokes on masturbation…then he said but now he can’t because I’ve already done all the good ones.
I thought he was fucking with me and played it off like “yeah, i do a lot of jack off jokes” etc…but he was being sincere. It was weird.
I’ve also had people tell me I’m always much funnier when I’m drunk which is disheartening to hear.
Anyone else get weird comments after shows?
Sina.
Okay Brian, I think I may be the last one checking in, but whats in the prize closet?
I’m currently stuck in Cali right now, visiting relatives. At my cousins house right now actually. And I felt the need to check in. On the calling in, can I get (Smiley’s) deal too, because I havent found the time to get stage time (mix of homework, and dad being gone=no ride, and a lack of venues my parents approve of me going to) so I don’t exactly have a set on tape or anything. But if I were to call it in or something would that be okay?
I forgot something about the mainland. Its f’ing cold up here. Like really cold. I am freezing my nuts off here. How can anyone stand living here?
Flying - do you live in Cali? because you said hella, and I’ve been hearing a lot of people say hella here. Its pretty weird. But cool I guess too.
Okay, enough random thoughts. out.
MNR
sina:
when i first started, the most back-handed compliment that i would get at open mics would be “wow, you looked really comfortable up there.” i would reply, “but was i funny?” and they would say… “you looked _really_ comfortable up there.”
here’s a street joke about stand-up comedy that kind of speaks towards compliments:
a headliner, a middle, and an emcee die and go to heaven. st. peter meets them at the gate.
he goes to the headliner and says, “we’re so happy to have you, but it’s such a shame you died. you were such an amazing comic and you were just about to get your own sitcom! the world’s loss is our gain though. welcome.” the headliner then goes through the pearly gates.
he then goes to the middle and says, “and we’re also happy to have you! you were such an amazing comic as well. you were just about to start headlining around the country! but, like i said, the world’s loss is our gain. welcome!” the middle then goes through the pearly gates.
then it’s just the emcee and st. peter. there’s a long, awkward pause. st. peter finally says, “oh, and uh, you were funny too.”
and just because i’ve got nothing to do, here are two more comic related street jokes:
1) a cruise ship sinks and all the people on it die. when they all get to heaven, everyone is waiting in line to get in heaven. the three comics that were on the boat go to the front of the line and say, “uh… we’re the comics?”
2) two comics who haven’t seen each other in a long time run into each other. one is bandaged and bruised. the other comic says, “what happened to you?”
“what happened to me? i’ll tell you what happened to me: the crystal ballroom happened to me. i get there, right, and in the parking lot is nothing but pickup trucks and motorcycles. then, i get into the show room and everyone in the place is drunk. i’m not ten seconds into my set before someone throws a beer bottle at my head. i try to shut up a heckler, and he comes charging to the stage and breaks my arm. then, the owner won’t pay me. and to top it all off, someone scratched my car with their keys! the crystal ballroom!”
“huh,” says the other comic, “the crystal ballrooom… who books that!?”
okay, that’s it. i’ll leave it to brian to explain why these are funny (or supposed to be funny) on the show
best,
–jayblack
Thanks Jay. I love comic jokes. I’ve had my share of backhanded compliments that I’ll definitely share when we come back next year.
Almost forgot, MNR…Drop me an email and I’ll let you know what we have in the prize closet. Not gonna lie, it’s slim pickins as I haven’t been shopping recently, but we’ll find something for you. And yes, you can phone in your set, but I must warn both you and Smiley, the voicemail cuts off at 5 mins, so make sure you time it out beforehand.
hmm, 5 mins. yeah i think i have something that could work
ok just recorded my 5 mins, had to do it twice becuase i went slowly over with the voice mail. now i had to sacrifice some timing but i think the jokes still hold. so ill see you all after the holidays. so merry christmas, hanukah, kwanza, and winter-een-mas(look it up, especially if your a gamer).
Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Talk to you soon.
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to all of you in the comedy community. As an occasional interloper, I have been catching up on the episodes and as usual enjoy these shows even though I am not a serious comedy fan (is that an oxy moron).
I have a question: Does anyone recall what episode Brian detailed the story of watching a youtube video of someone driving a hummer? In the story he commented to the person playing the clip that he loved it when people did stupid crap just to film themselves and publish it on youtube - only to find out the person showing him the clip was the very person driving the hummer in the clip? Also, who was that person (I think it was a ventriloquist)? I am trying to find it for my nephew who would especially appreciate that story.
The story was definitely about Jeff Dunham but alas I don’t remember what episode it was. I suppose I could go back to my detailed cataloged records, but since those don’t exist I’ll have to rely on a faithful btb fan to solve the mystery.
I think its in the show Writing in a Vacuum. I’m listening right now, so I’m not sure. But it mentions Jeff Dunham.
Okay. Nevermind it is in Writing in a Vacuum.
MIke (Not Really), Much appreciated. Thanks.
BTW, I am just catching up on the shows and I like your name, Mike (Not Really), just fine.
I don’t know if this is really back-handed, but some other guys acted like it was when I told them somebody said it to me:
“You’re better than I remember you being.”
This was told to me by a bunch of people, including Brooks Wheelan (hilarious guy, check out his MySpace), and I thought it was a compliment that I was getting better. But I guess it can also mean “you used to suck, now you suck less.” To each their own.
I think most people are not clever enough to sincerely think up backhanded compliments. I mean, Mark Twain and Winston Churchill had some good ones, but your average, slack jawed comedy show audience member couldn’t really think of a clever way of telling you that you suck if they spent the whole show trying to do that.
So my philosophy is to take compliments as they are and not to overthink things. We’re an insecure demographic of people so we overthink stuff and put meaning where there was none.
One thing I’d like to do though is to tell every single person that comes up to me after a show and tries to fix the “problems” in my act to eat a fucking bullet. Those people get on my last nerve.
Don’t get me wrong…I love to hear jokes and people’s opinions and stories and the such…but I hate it when someone says “(insert hacky comment)…you should use that in your skit!” Or “you’re funny but……..(insert long winded, pointless, ignorant and sometimes completely pompous opinion here as I sit there and nod my head and drink as much as I can while listening to this blowhard).”
Sina.
Hey BMO
Thanks heaps for the Comedy Cellar tip for NYC. It was AWESOME apart from making those of us who reserved a table wait in some dingy back alley due to the earlier show running overtime (jesus just let us chill in the bar)
Four of us went after a Knicks game (a win too!!!) so we were already having a great night and the Cellar iced the cake. The comics were great (listed below), the cover was only $10 and the food and drinks were pretty cheap too.
The comics we had were
James Smith
Sherrod Small
???? Fish
Greer Barnes
Dave Attell
Godfrey
In general they were all really good, with Godfrey probably being the most outrageous and hilarious guy ive seen in a long time. He also did a much longer set than the others but since I thought he was the funniest, that was ok with me. We got to briefly meet him after the show and he still seemed jacked up on adrenaline or some other high (granted he had only been off stage for about 5 mins)
I had really built up Dave Attell as ive loved his TV stuff ive seen (i havent seen much stuff mind you) and have heard you say he is your fave comic and he was pretty good but did a really short set which was disappointing. If he was the closing comic i would have left a bit disappointed but Godfrey went crazy after him so the night ended really well.
Overall a great night out.
One thing i thought you might like to know is the following. Anyone who has wandered through Times Square probably knows how hard the comedy clubs pimp out their shows by having guys on the street trying to sell offers to tourists. Since we had plans to go to the Cellar already I mostly just said shit like ‘Nah mate we’re already booked somewhere’. Anyway, at some point over the weekend, I was accosted by one guy who actually got me to stop and chat. I was drunk so was just really talking drunk guy shit to him. Eventually he got to the pimping session for his club and I told him that I was going to the Cellar on a recommendation from a comic out in Vegas who used to live here. He asked who it was so I proudly told him Brian Mollica. I was in no state to judge the authenticity of his reaction but I clearly remember him ‘definitely knowing who you were’ and being almost positive he had been to some of your shows in NYC.
So there you go - either you left a big impression on a young guy in the industry in NYC, or……… the guy really wanted to butter me up to buy his shit. I like the former.
Again, thanks for the great tip!!!!
pmac — there’s a better than average chance that dave was “working material out” rather than giving you a “show”. now, it’s also possible that he was having an off night, but my guess would be he was just trying out new stuff.
was it john fisch you saw?
aaaaaaaand, here’s something for you, brian. i was just about to type that james smith was a really funny guy and a good friend of mine when i realized that even though i consider him a “good friend”, we’ve only ever worked with each other for one weekend. isn’t that a particular trait of comics? you work together for one weekend, become friends, don’t see each other or talk for months or sometimes years, then all of a sudden you’re doing a one-nighter in paducah with them and you slide right back into the friendship like nothing happened. i can think of no other profession with the exception of pirate or multi-state serial killer that has the same kind of odd friendships.
The Tom Rhodes CD is available for download on eMusic.com and iTunes, if you’re having a tough time finding it at your local record store.
Glad you liked the show pmac. I can guarantee that Dave was either working out new shit or really fucked up. Every time I saw him at the Cellar he was never as polished as in his specials, and in a way I kind of dug that. Thanks for the story about the guy in Times Square and more importantly thanks for dropping my name. It’s very possible that we’ve met as I spent a year and a half being that comedy club pimp, but who knows.
Great call Jay. Lots of my “friends” are guys I’ve only met 2 or 3 times. I still consider Jim Breuer my buddy because we shared a stick after a show.
Jay - it was indeed John Fisch. I remembered the Fish bit but always forget the really unique names like John.
Jay/BMo - Re Attell - id say he was polishing material although where the other guys were sipping water he was def swigging on some sort of liquor im sure.
I guess what I liked best about the whole gig was the intimate setting. I was expecting a much larger venue (i dont know why - maybe i just think everything is bigger in the US) and was pleasantly surprised that it was relatively small and we were basically in the comics’ laps.
I’m def gonna hit the streets in search of something similar here in London now as im pretty much hooked. Watching comics on TV is one thing but live was just a whole other world!!!!
Happy Holidays All
Mike (not really)
The word “hella” i s a Cali thing, but ONLY Northern California. My first year in college was in my hometown, but it was mostly out of state and international students. Everyone gave me a hard time for the longest about the word hella, but what surprised me was the kids from LA and San Diego didn’t know the word, so it was a NorCal thing. I’m heading down to LA in about a month so I am curious to see if its filtered down that way by now.
I’m looking forward to hearing all the material you all have been working on for the new year…call it in!
Can’t wait for the next show…
Happy New Year everyone! For those in more western timezones, so far 2008 is great! You have lots to look forward to.
Looking forward to this week’s show Brian. Back to work on Wednesday so I will need it. Also looking forward to my first gig of 2008 on Sunday next, I’ve got a good feeling that this will be the year I will finally get into doing stand-up regularly!
Happy new year all, and thank you sincerely for making the first year of BTB so successful. II have big plans for ‘08, and if they’re anything like most of my resolutions, they’ll fizzle out by January 11. But here’s hoping!
Hey Brian… I have another random question… I’m not sure if this was covered already, but what did you think of the Aristocrats movie? I just recently saw it for the first time, and I loved it. I’d love to get your take.
Thanks,
Jay
Thanks for the question Jay. We did a show about it last year, I’m sure one of our valued listeners will point you in the right direction.
So Myspace’s new Secret Stand up (which is such a bizarre fucking concept in the first place…doing a ’secret stand up’ that’s right there on the front page of their home page with big name comedians) is Chelsea Handler. Does anyone even know if she does stand up?
I can’t imagine she’s that good. She’s a good improvisor but those are two different things.
Anyone know anything about it? I can’t find any videos online.
Sina.
Chelsea is actually pretty funny. I saw her open for Breuer at the LV comedy festival. In fact, I find her waaaay less annoying as a stand up than on those vh1 shows she does.
Hey everyone. Happy new year.
I hope I’m not the only one who listens to the old shows. But it’s pretty interesting how far the show has changed. From interviewing a 14 year vet on show 8, to interviewing a 14 year old by show 49. And then also your being happy that someone is calling in a joke.
For Jay Kelt the episode is called Stand Up On The Big Screen.
One more thing… what ever happened to the hell gig stories?